An introduction by Priz-Alt's Nola McKenzie:
Hi guys, and welcome to my humble list of my personal choices of the top 50 greatest Joan Ferguson scenes. I cannot express how much fun and frustration I had making this list. The fun came from writing about the fabulous Freak in her greatest moments, and why I loved them. Reliving each scene, going back and re-watching them for little points of info and quotes was a joy.
The frustration came from trying to limit my selection to only 50 choices, because there are just so many great scenes featuring Joan that I had to cut out some great ones that I truly love. But then that's just a testament to what a great character is, when you're spoiled for choice picking great scenes featuring them.
I am by no means any kind of experienced writer. Truth be told, I hate reading my own writing. So I was nervous as well as excited when Steve offered me this task. I wanted to do the mighty Freak the justice she deserves. And I hope I have.
It was a long process, and I have to confess the list was in limbo for a couple of months. So I do apologize for the delay. I sincerely hope you find it was worth the wait.
I'd like to thank Steve Hurst aka Jock Stewart, the founder and owner of our great Prisoner Alternative forum for giving me the opportunity to write such a list. For always been a steady and supportive friend these last few years. A brilliant scholar of Prisoner lore, and of course one of the biggest and best Joan Ferguson fans there is.
I'd also like to thank Phil, aka Smash, our resident biker, comedian, and expert on farts for providing the screen caps to complement my list. You're the best, Smash.
And finally I'd like to thank you guys for taking the time to read my list. I sincerely hope you all enjoy it for what it is.
Enjoy,
Stephen Wolfram aka Nola McKenzie
50. 'You can bake it, Birdsworth!'
This one is more of a Joan quote really, but it's so memorable, so superbly delivered, and never fails to rise a chuckle from me no matter how often I watch it, that I had to include it on the list.
Ok, so there's a head count being done in the rec-room because Randi Goodlove has gone missing. Ann orders that the women be kept there until they've completed a search of the prison. Lizzie protests this.
Lizzie: 'What if I want to go to the dunney?'
Joan: 'You can bake it, Birdsworth!'
And Joan delivers that line with all venom of a death adder. And it's done in her raspy, post hanging voice, too. One of my favourites. Plus the look on Lizzie's face is a picture.
This one is more of a Joan quote really, but it's so memorable, so superbly delivered, and never fails to rise a chuckle from me no matter how often I watch it, that I had to include it on the list.
Ok, so there's a head count being done in the rec-room because Randi Goodlove has gone missing. Ann orders that the women be kept there until they've completed a search of the prison. Lizzie protests this.
Lizzie: 'What if I want to go to the dunney?'
Joan: 'You can bake it, Birdsworth!'
And Joan delivers that line with all venom of a death adder. And it's done in her raspy, post hanging voice, too. One of my favourites. Plus the look on Lizzie's face is a picture.
49. 'Get out of my chair!'
For several episodes, Joan and the sadistic governor of the dreaded Blackmoor prison, Ernest Craven, had been plotting to oust Ann Reynolds from Wentworth, and rule the roost themselves. It works, and Craven is appointed acting governor. But Joan is not having any of that. She threatens to change her evidence concerning Lorelei's rape if Craven does not stand down in her favour.
Craven wisely backs down, knowing full well Joan meant what she said, and tells her he's stepping down as acting governor. Joan's outstanding reply to this is 'Get out of my chair'. Love it. No gratitude from Joan here. It was her right to be in the chair from the get-go. And the hateful sneer on her face as she delivers the line is fantastic. Oh and Craven shifts his arse from her chair, too.
For several episodes, Joan and the sadistic governor of the dreaded Blackmoor prison, Ernest Craven, had been plotting to oust Ann Reynolds from Wentworth, and rule the roost themselves. It works, and Craven is appointed acting governor. But Joan is not having any of that. She threatens to change her evidence concerning Lorelei's rape if Craven does not stand down in her favour.
Craven wisely backs down, knowing full well Joan meant what she said, and tells her he's stepping down as acting governor. Joan's outstanding reply to this is 'Get out of my chair'. Love it. No gratitude from Joan here. It was her right to be in the chair from the get-go. And the hateful sneer on her face as she delivers the line is fantastic. Oh and Craven shifts his arse from her chair, too.
48. 'I wouldn't have missed it for the world'
Now this was a great scene, where Myra Desmond finds herself surrounded by evil. Ever since Myra set Joan up for bashing Lou, by using Joan's blackouts, her own illness against her, Joan has been gunning for Myra. And so it comes to this, Joan enlists Ruth Ballinger in a plan to murder Myra with an overdose of heroin.
Myra is tricked into going to the shower block, where she's clobbered from behind by Lou, and then restrained, as Ruth enters and prepares the hypodermic. Then who else should arrive on the scene, but Joan herself, beaming with adulation.
Myra: 'Ohhhh, Ferguson, you mongrel!!!'
Ruth: 'You're just in time'
Joan: 'I wouldn't have missed it for the world'
A shining example of how Joan can elevate a great scene into a brilliant scene with her presence, a smirk, and a slick line or two. Not to mention I was honestly dumbfounded as to how Myra was going to get out of this.
Now this was a great scene, where Myra Desmond finds herself surrounded by evil. Ever since Myra set Joan up for bashing Lou, by using Joan's blackouts, her own illness against her, Joan has been gunning for Myra. And so it comes to this, Joan enlists Ruth Ballinger in a plan to murder Myra with an overdose of heroin.
Myra is tricked into going to the shower block, where she's clobbered from behind by Lou, and then restrained, as Ruth enters and prepares the hypodermic. Then who else should arrive on the scene, but Joan herself, beaming with adulation.
Myra: 'Ohhhh, Ferguson, you mongrel!!!'
Ruth: 'You're just in time'
Joan: 'I wouldn't have missed it for the world'
A shining example of how Joan can elevate a great scene into a brilliant scene with her presence, a smirk, and a slick line or two. Not to mention I was honestly dumbfounded as to how Myra was going to get out of this.
47. 'You think you're good enough?'
One thing you never do is challenge Joan's authority in the prison. Especially if you're an inmate. Nola McKenzie, due to be shipped back to Western Australia to face the hangman, learned this in one of the most amusing ways. Nola was in solitary for bashing Paddy Lawson, and Joan came to collect her. Nola is lying comfortably on the bed.
Joan: 'Righto McKenzie, stir yourself'
Nola: 'What for?'
Joan: 'Because I say so'
Nola: 'You think you're good enough?'
Joan: 'I know it!'
Joan then grabs the mattress on the bed and tips Nola out of the bed onto the floor. McKenzie is furious, and Joan beams with elation.
Nola: 'You've had it, you bitch'
Joan: 'Oh that's very funny, Mckenzie. You step out of Wentworth and they'll have you back on a west Australian death row in the same day. Heh, and you think I've had it?'
Nola: 'You pig!!!'
Joan: 'Think McKenzie. There won't be any extra charges from me to keep you here. And I'll say the other women bashed you. They'll have you back in W.A. so fast your head will spin. They're very funny like that. They don't like you getting killed before they have a chance to get you to the gallows'
Nola: 'I didn't think you screws were allowed to talk to us'
Joan: 'I do what I like with scum like you'
Nola: 'When there's no one else around'
Joan: 'You're learning. But you won't be around here long enough to use the knowledge'
Joan then grabs Nola by the arm and shoves her out the cell door.
Again, another one of my favourite examples of Joan flaunting her authority and superiority. Even Nola, who had more muscles than Arnie, knew better than to challenge her. This great little scene was capped off with Joan saying:
Joan: 'By the way, there was another Cop killer on death row, wasn't there?'
Nola: 'So what?'
Joan: 'They hanged him this morning' *Smirk*
Joan, you are the BEST!
One thing you never do is challenge Joan's authority in the prison. Especially if you're an inmate. Nola McKenzie, due to be shipped back to Western Australia to face the hangman, learned this in one of the most amusing ways. Nola was in solitary for bashing Paddy Lawson, and Joan came to collect her. Nola is lying comfortably on the bed.
Joan: 'Righto McKenzie, stir yourself'
Nola: 'What for?'
Joan: 'Because I say so'
Nola: 'You think you're good enough?'
Joan: 'I know it!'
Joan then grabs the mattress on the bed and tips Nola out of the bed onto the floor. McKenzie is furious, and Joan beams with elation.
Nola: 'You've had it, you bitch'
Joan: 'Oh that's very funny, Mckenzie. You step out of Wentworth and they'll have you back on a west Australian death row in the same day. Heh, and you think I've had it?'
Nola: 'You pig!!!'
Joan: 'Think McKenzie. There won't be any extra charges from me to keep you here. And I'll say the other women bashed you. They'll have you back in W.A. so fast your head will spin. They're very funny like that. They don't like you getting killed before they have a chance to get you to the gallows'
Nola: 'I didn't think you screws were allowed to talk to us'
Joan: 'I do what I like with scum like you'
Nola: 'When there's no one else around'
Joan: 'You're learning. But you won't be around here long enough to use the knowledge'
Joan then grabs Nola by the arm and shoves her out the cell door.
Again, another one of my favourite examples of Joan flaunting her authority and superiority. Even Nola, who had more muscles than Arnie, knew better than to challenge her. This great little scene was capped off with Joan saying:
Joan: 'By the way, there was another Cop killer on death row, wasn't there?'
Nola: 'So what?'
Joan: 'They hanged him this morning' *Smirk*
Joan, you are the BEST!
46. Losing Major the dog
Time for a weepy moment to make the list. And this one was a real heart wrencher, especially for me, as I love dogs. Joan had been given a little puppy by her father, whom she named Major, after her father. Joan idolised the dog. Having already lost one dog earlier in the show, this one was even harder hitting because Major died at Joan's hands.
Joan had been force fed LSD by the Fellowes mob, and had a very bad trip, where she hallucinated all kinds of craziness. In the insanity of the trip, she had knocked over her table, chairs, picked up a scissors and shredded her couch and other furniture.
Upon coming out of the drugged haze, Joan noticed blood all over her hands and scissors that she was holding. She then saw the Major's hind legs sticking out from behind a chair, and called to him. He didn't move. She then noticed blood on the floor under his legs, and realised what had happened. She'd killed her own dog with the scissors. Joan then let out the most agonised cry I've ever heard. It was gut wrenching.
One of the times Joan pulled on the heart strings, and you really felt bad for her. Outstanding acting from Maggie Kirkpatrick.
Time for a weepy moment to make the list. And this one was a real heart wrencher, especially for me, as I love dogs. Joan had been given a little puppy by her father, whom she named Major, after her father. Joan idolised the dog. Having already lost one dog earlier in the show, this one was even harder hitting because Major died at Joan's hands.
Joan had been force fed LSD by the Fellowes mob, and had a very bad trip, where she hallucinated all kinds of craziness. In the insanity of the trip, she had knocked over her table, chairs, picked up a scissors and shredded her couch and other furniture.
Upon coming out of the drugged haze, Joan noticed blood all over her hands and scissors that she was holding. She then saw the Major's hind legs sticking out from behind a chair, and called to him. He didn't move. She then noticed blood on the floor under his legs, and realised what had happened. She'd killed her own dog with the scissors. Joan then let out the most agonised cry I've ever heard. It was gut wrenching.
One of the times Joan pulled on the heart strings, and you really felt bad for her. Outstanding acting from Maggie Kirkpatrick.
45. 'Runt of the litter'
Joan was always an enemy of the goodie top dogs, like Bea, Myra, and Rita. But there was one long-term top dog who literally made Joan laugh at the very idea of being challenged by her, and I'm not talking about Minnie Donovan. Nora Flynn, one of the infamous Barnhurst 5 characters, who took over the top dog position after Myra's death. Nora's solution for handling things was always by peaceful methods. Using the council, offering truces to Lou and her gang.
YAWN!
So when Nora made her first verbal stand against Joan, the response was quite funny, and one of my favourite Joan moments, as her derision of Nora was absolutely justified. Joan had just made some snide remark to Julie Egbert, and Nora jumped to her defence:
Nora: 'Leave her alone, Ferguson. You've made your point'
Joan: 'Ahhh yes, the new top dog. It's all over the prison. Quite a joke really'
Willie: 'We don't think so'
Joan: 'Beecham, I have seen many top dogs in my time. And believe me, this one is the runt of the litter'
Nora: 'I'm not Myra or Bea Smith. I'm not trying to be'
Joan: 'Pity. I enjoyed a challenge'
Nora: 'All that war doesn't help anyone'
Joan: 'You've been watching too many news reports, Flynn'
Nora: 'You've got brains, Miss Ferguson, think about it. You lay off us and we won't make trouble for you. That's going to look good on all our records'.
That pathetic final line made Joan sneer in contempt and walk off grinning. Thank you, Joan, for saying what we were all thinking. This was a great scene, because not only did Joan spell out what everyone was thinking, but also it reduced Nora to nothing. Ok, she already was nothing, Joan just showed it in her usual class way. Also, a little side note, but her mention of her two previous enemies, Bea and Myra, and how she enjoyed the challenge they presented her, showed a sort of respect Joan had for them, I think.
Joan was always an enemy of the goodie top dogs, like Bea, Myra, and Rita. But there was one long-term top dog who literally made Joan laugh at the very idea of being challenged by her, and I'm not talking about Minnie Donovan. Nora Flynn, one of the infamous Barnhurst 5 characters, who took over the top dog position after Myra's death. Nora's solution for handling things was always by peaceful methods. Using the council, offering truces to Lou and her gang.
YAWN!
So when Nora made her first verbal stand against Joan, the response was quite funny, and one of my favourite Joan moments, as her derision of Nora was absolutely justified. Joan had just made some snide remark to Julie Egbert, and Nora jumped to her defence:
Nora: 'Leave her alone, Ferguson. You've made your point'
Joan: 'Ahhh yes, the new top dog. It's all over the prison. Quite a joke really'
Willie: 'We don't think so'
Joan: 'Beecham, I have seen many top dogs in my time. And believe me, this one is the runt of the litter'
Nora: 'I'm not Myra or Bea Smith. I'm not trying to be'
Joan: 'Pity. I enjoyed a challenge'
Nora: 'All that war doesn't help anyone'
Joan: 'You've been watching too many news reports, Flynn'
Nora: 'You've got brains, Miss Ferguson, think about it. You lay off us and we won't make trouble for you. That's going to look good on all our records'.
That pathetic final line made Joan sneer in contempt and walk off grinning. Thank you, Joan, for saying what we were all thinking. This was a great scene, because not only did Joan spell out what everyone was thinking, but also it reduced Nora to nothing. Ok, she already was nothing, Joan just showed it in her usual class way. Also, a little side note, but her mention of her two previous enemies, Bea and Myra, and how she enjoyed the challenge they presented her, showed a sort of respect Joan had for them, I think.
44. 'You're missing out on all that nourishment'
Pathetic alcoholic, Janice Grant, has lagged on Alice Jenkins about Sam Greenway's murder. Lurch is now on a murder charge, and the women are out for blood for the lagging. Particularly Lou Kelly. Janice is in sickbay for drinking some bad booze that caused her to hallucinate.
Enter Lou Kelly to bring her the even meal, which is soup. Lou makes a cryptic remark that strongly suggests the soup is tainted with something nasty. Janice refuses to eat it. Enter Joan, who suspects that Janice is just trying to prolong her stay in sickbay by refusing to eat. But Janice's fear becomes apparent to even Joan that she simply does not want to eat that soup.
Joan then suspiciously eyes up Lou Kelly, and says
Joan: 'Seems to be a blatant waste of good food, wouldn't you say so, Kelly'
Lou: 'Whatever you say, Miss Ferguson'
Joan: 'I'll bet you worked your fingers to the bone making it, too'
Lou: 'I helped Mr Pringle sure'
Joan: 'Good. Seems a pity to let it go to waste. So here, you eat it'
Lou: 'Look I got my tea coming up. Besides I hate soup'
Joan: 'Eat it, Kelly. All of it!!!'
Lou: 'But...'
Joan: 'No buts, Kelly. Otherwise you'll make me think there's something wrong with it. Then I'd have to send it off to be analysed, and you yourself just said you made it'
Joan then hands Lou the spoon, and Lou, who is looking livid, then begins to slurp the horrible green looking soup. She looks like she's about to gag as she forces it into her mouth. Joan is standing there with a glorious smirk on her face. 'See Grant, you're missing out on all that nourishment'.
A nice bit of payback for Lou's attempt on Joan's life with a zip gun. And just watching Joan gleefully force Kelly to slurp down that soup is fab.
We then see Lou puking her guts up in her cell, and falling to the floor, clutching her stomach in agony. This is done with a brilliant camera angle, as Lou is right up close to the camera, and the cell door is behind her. In comes Joan, smirking like a Cheshire cat.
Joan: 'Dear me, Kelly. You don't look at all well. Anything I can do?'
Lou: 'Yeah...RACK OFF!!!'
Joan: 'Oh Kelly, I really wanted to have a little chat with you about that zip gun business'
Lou: 'Ughhh...I'll bet you did'
Joan: 'But seeing as you're not feeling up to it, we'll scratch that one off the list. Now Kelly, you just look after yourself. You don't look at all well. Maybe it was something you ate?'
Joan then walks out of the cell chuckling. Fantastic.
Pathetic alcoholic, Janice Grant, has lagged on Alice Jenkins about Sam Greenway's murder. Lurch is now on a murder charge, and the women are out for blood for the lagging. Particularly Lou Kelly. Janice is in sickbay for drinking some bad booze that caused her to hallucinate.
Enter Lou Kelly to bring her the even meal, which is soup. Lou makes a cryptic remark that strongly suggests the soup is tainted with something nasty. Janice refuses to eat it. Enter Joan, who suspects that Janice is just trying to prolong her stay in sickbay by refusing to eat. But Janice's fear becomes apparent to even Joan that she simply does not want to eat that soup.
Joan then suspiciously eyes up Lou Kelly, and says
Joan: 'Seems to be a blatant waste of good food, wouldn't you say so, Kelly'
Lou: 'Whatever you say, Miss Ferguson'
Joan: 'I'll bet you worked your fingers to the bone making it, too'
Lou: 'I helped Mr Pringle sure'
Joan: 'Good. Seems a pity to let it go to waste. So here, you eat it'
Lou: 'Look I got my tea coming up. Besides I hate soup'
Joan: 'Eat it, Kelly. All of it!!!'
Lou: 'But...'
Joan: 'No buts, Kelly. Otherwise you'll make me think there's something wrong with it. Then I'd have to send it off to be analysed, and you yourself just said you made it'
Joan then hands Lou the spoon, and Lou, who is looking livid, then begins to slurp the horrible green looking soup. She looks like she's about to gag as she forces it into her mouth. Joan is standing there with a glorious smirk on her face. 'See Grant, you're missing out on all that nourishment'.
A nice bit of payback for Lou's attempt on Joan's life with a zip gun. And just watching Joan gleefully force Kelly to slurp down that soup is fab.
We then see Lou puking her guts up in her cell, and falling to the floor, clutching her stomach in agony. This is done with a brilliant camera angle, as Lou is right up close to the camera, and the cell door is behind her. In comes Joan, smirking like a Cheshire cat.
Joan: 'Dear me, Kelly. You don't look at all well. Anything I can do?'
Lou: 'Yeah...RACK OFF!!!'
Joan: 'Oh Kelly, I really wanted to have a little chat with you about that zip gun business'
Lou: 'Ughhh...I'll bet you did'
Joan: 'But seeing as you're not feeling up to it, we'll scratch that one off the list. Now Kelly, you just look after yourself. You don't look at all well. Maybe it was something you ate?'
Joan then walks out of the cell chuckling. Fantastic.
43. Revenge!!!
This is a scene I imagine almost brought a tear to the eye of our resident biker, Smash. In retaliation for slicing up her beloved biker jacket, Rita contacted her biker mates, the Conquerors, and had them wreck Joan's house. Joan is seething with anger, and plans revenge so spectacular that it has to be seen to be believed.
Joan attires herself in a long black coat and a head scarf, arms herself with a canister of petrol, and tracks down where the Conquerors hang out. Their motorcycles are lined up outside in a shed. Joan then proceeds to pour gasoline all over it, and then promptly sets the whole thing alight.
Joan then scampers into the bushes, and watches with relish as the Conquerors bikes go up in flames. What a glorious revenge. Joan retaliating against a gang of hardcore bikers. Brilliant.
This is a scene I imagine almost brought a tear to the eye of our resident biker, Smash. In retaliation for slicing up her beloved biker jacket, Rita contacted her biker mates, the Conquerors, and had them wreck Joan's house. Joan is seething with anger, and plans revenge so spectacular that it has to be seen to be believed.
Joan attires herself in a long black coat and a head scarf, arms herself with a canister of petrol, and tracks down where the Conquerors hang out. Their motorcycles are lined up outside in a shed. Joan then proceeds to pour gasoline all over it, and then promptly sets the whole thing alight.
Joan then scampers into the bushes, and watches with relish as the Conquerors bikes go up in flames. What a glorious revenge. Joan retaliating against a gang of hardcore bikers. Brilliant.
42. Miracle cure
Tracey Belman, the rebel in the wheelchair who was snapping everyone's head off who tried to help her, or showed any kindness towards her. Needless to say these antics made her unpopular, so Ann assigned Joan to watch over her, at Joan's request, as Joan wanted to redeem herself in the new governor's eyes because of all the accusations being thrown at Joan at the time over her involvement in the Zara Moonbeam/Bea going mad/Nola's death business.
Belman had heard tales about Joan from the other women. Specifically how she sexually harassed Hannah Simpson. So when Tracey heard that Joan was appointed to watch over her night and day, she was bricking it. And so on one night shift, when Belman was having a nightmare about her car accident that led her to be in a wheelchair, Joan woke her up in the thick of the nightmare, and Belman freaked out at the sight of Joan towering over her in her bed, and accused Joan of trying to kiss her to Colleen.
Joan was fuming to be accused again. Except this time she was innocent, which made it even worse. Belman's file revealed that her condition was psychosomatic, meaning her paralysis was all in her head. And so Joan took it upon herself to prove it. And this is the scene that I love.
Joan cornered Tracey alone in her cell, closing the door, and then slipped on her infamous black leather gloves.
Joan: 'You see I've decided I am interested in what you've got to offer, Belman. I might as well eh. I'm being accused of it'
Tracey: 'You touch me and I'll scream'
Joan: 'Oh you can scream all you like, Belman. I'm the only officer on patrol. And all the other vermin are at work. Besides, a bit of a struggle makes it more exciting'
Joan then strokes Tracey's face with her gloved hand, and Tracey lets out a piercing scream, which alerts Ann and Colleen who are walking along the corridor outside. Inside the cell Tracey wrestles out of Joan's grip and jumps to her feet and runs across the cell. Joan then smirks a triumphant smirk as her two witnesses burst in and demand to know what's going on.
Joan: 'Merely proving a point, governor. Look at her. I told you she was faking'
Tracey then looks at herself standing, and then falls to the floor crying. Joan the triumphantly walks to the door, and turns back and says to Ann 'And she was lying when she accused me of trying to kiss her'.
Class. Sheer class. And a nice kick up the arse to Tracey Belman, who did start to grate on your nerves with her rebel 'I don't need you help or your pity' act.
Tracey Belman, the rebel in the wheelchair who was snapping everyone's head off who tried to help her, or showed any kindness towards her. Needless to say these antics made her unpopular, so Ann assigned Joan to watch over her, at Joan's request, as Joan wanted to redeem herself in the new governor's eyes because of all the accusations being thrown at Joan at the time over her involvement in the Zara Moonbeam/Bea going mad/Nola's death business.
Belman had heard tales about Joan from the other women. Specifically how she sexually harassed Hannah Simpson. So when Tracey heard that Joan was appointed to watch over her night and day, she was bricking it. And so on one night shift, when Belman was having a nightmare about her car accident that led her to be in a wheelchair, Joan woke her up in the thick of the nightmare, and Belman freaked out at the sight of Joan towering over her in her bed, and accused Joan of trying to kiss her to Colleen.
Joan was fuming to be accused again. Except this time she was innocent, which made it even worse. Belman's file revealed that her condition was psychosomatic, meaning her paralysis was all in her head. And so Joan took it upon herself to prove it. And this is the scene that I love.
Joan cornered Tracey alone in her cell, closing the door, and then slipped on her infamous black leather gloves.
Joan: 'You see I've decided I am interested in what you've got to offer, Belman. I might as well eh. I'm being accused of it'
Tracey: 'You touch me and I'll scream'
Joan: 'Oh you can scream all you like, Belman. I'm the only officer on patrol. And all the other vermin are at work. Besides, a bit of a struggle makes it more exciting'
Joan then strokes Tracey's face with her gloved hand, and Tracey lets out a piercing scream, which alerts Ann and Colleen who are walking along the corridor outside. Inside the cell Tracey wrestles out of Joan's grip and jumps to her feet and runs across the cell. Joan then smirks a triumphant smirk as her two witnesses burst in and demand to know what's going on.
Joan: 'Merely proving a point, governor. Look at her. I told you she was faking'
Tracey then looks at herself standing, and then falls to the floor crying. Joan the triumphantly walks to the door, and turns back and says to Ann 'And she was lying when she accused me of trying to kiss her'.
Class. Sheer class. And a nice kick up the arse to Tracey Belman, who did start to grate on your nerves with her rebel 'I don't need you help or your pity' act.
41. 'You made a fool out of me, Smith'
Bea Smith escaped from Wentworth dressed in Joan's uniform that she pinched from the staff room after sending Joan on a wild goose chase over a phoney fence drop of dope that she claimed Maxine was getting in. Bea slipped out with a bunch of trainee officers who were visiting Wentworth at the time. The Police and Ted Douglas hauled Joan over the coals for this error. So needless to say, Joan was fuming. So when Bea Smith was recaptured and returned to Wentworth, Joan was drooling with anticipation to settle the score with Bea.
Bea was thrown in solitary upon her return, and in true Joan style, she decided to pay Bea a little night time visit. Bea was asleep, and Joan entered the cell, armed with a big torch, and shone it square in Bea's face. Bea arose quickly from her slumber to the sight of the hateful Joan glaring down at her.
Joan: 'You made a fool out of me, Smith. Sending me on that wild goose chase after Daniels, and then walking out of here in my uniform'
Bea: 'Oh leave me alone'
Joan: 'I suppose you thought it wouldn't matter. That you wouldn't be coming back. But you are back, Smith, aren't you'
Bea: 'Look you're not going to get a fight out of me'
Joan: 'You've had it with the women, Smith. And with me'
Bea: 'That why you're here? Come to bash me?'
*Joan just grins and nods slowly*
Joan: 'You'll keep, Smith. I can be very patient'
Joan then switches the torch off, and leaves, leaving Bea looking slightly worried. But this magnificent scene doesn't end here. Oh no. We then see Joan enter another cell. It's is Nola McKenzie's cell. Joan, quiet as a mouse, enters the cell, and silently walks to the end of Nola's bed. Nola stirs slightly, sensing someone in the room, and then spots Joan towering at the end of her bed, and Nola sits bolt upright.
Nola: 'What the hell do you want?'
Joan: 'A little chat about Smith'
Nola: 'Look I've done what you wanted. I'm top dog now'
Joan: 'But that could change when Smith gets back among the women'
Nola: 'Why should it? I can supply them with happy dreams. That's what they want'
Joan: 'Only if I allow it. Listen I know Barker's your courier. I can grab him and cut off your supply any time I like'
Nola: 'Why the hell should you want to do that? I've done what you wanted'
Joan: 'But I want more, McKenzie. You see I want Smith bashed very very badly'
The scene then fades out on Joan's smirking face. Oh what a magnificent scene. What is about Joan creeping around the cells at night, frightening the bejesus out of anyone who occupies them, that makes for such great viewing? Brilliant use of lighting and music, and the camera angles as Joan creeps around silently. Being able to give the likes of Bea and Nola a fright is no easy task. But Joan is the best at what she does.
As any Prisoner fan will agree, Joan's scenes of feuding with Bea, and collaborating with Nola always made for some of the finest viewing on Prisoner. And these are two delicious examples of them, linked together into one huge effective scene, which sparked the Bea/Joan/Nola feud again.
A gem of a scene, folks.
Bea Smith escaped from Wentworth dressed in Joan's uniform that she pinched from the staff room after sending Joan on a wild goose chase over a phoney fence drop of dope that she claimed Maxine was getting in. Bea slipped out with a bunch of trainee officers who were visiting Wentworth at the time. The Police and Ted Douglas hauled Joan over the coals for this error. So needless to say, Joan was fuming. So when Bea Smith was recaptured and returned to Wentworth, Joan was drooling with anticipation to settle the score with Bea.
Bea was thrown in solitary upon her return, and in true Joan style, she decided to pay Bea a little night time visit. Bea was asleep, and Joan entered the cell, armed with a big torch, and shone it square in Bea's face. Bea arose quickly from her slumber to the sight of the hateful Joan glaring down at her.
Joan: 'You made a fool out of me, Smith. Sending me on that wild goose chase after Daniels, and then walking out of here in my uniform'
Bea: 'Oh leave me alone'
Joan: 'I suppose you thought it wouldn't matter. That you wouldn't be coming back. But you are back, Smith, aren't you'
Bea: 'Look you're not going to get a fight out of me'
Joan: 'You've had it with the women, Smith. And with me'
Bea: 'That why you're here? Come to bash me?'
*Joan just grins and nods slowly*
Joan: 'You'll keep, Smith. I can be very patient'
Joan then switches the torch off, and leaves, leaving Bea looking slightly worried. But this magnificent scene doesn't end here. Oh no. We then see Joan enter another cell. It's is Nola McKenzie's cell. Joan, quiet as a mouse, enters the cell, and silently walks to the end of Nola's bed. Nola stirs slightly, sensing someone in the room, and then spots Joan towering at the end of her bed, and Nola sits bolt upright.
Nola: 'What the hell do you want?'
Joan: 'A little chat about Smith'
Nola: 'Look I've done what you wanted. I'm top dog now'
Joan: 'But that could change when Smith gets back among the women'
Nola: 'Why should it? I can supply them with happy dreams. That's what they want'
Joan: 'Only if I allow it. Listen I know Barker's your courier. I can grab him and cut off your supply any time I like'
Nola: 'Why the hell should you want to do that? I've done what you wanted'
Joan: 'But I want more, McKenzie. You see I want Smith bashed very very badly'
The scene then fades out on Joan's smirking face. Oh what a magnificent scene. What is about Joan creeping around the cells at night, frightening the bejesus out of anyone who occupies them, that makes for such great viewing? Brilliant use of lighting and music, and the camera angles as Joan creeps around silently. Being able to give the likes of Bea and Nola a fright is no easy task. But Joan is the best at what she does.
As any Prisoner fan will agree, Joan's scenes of feuding with Bea, and collaborating with Nola always made for some of the finest viewing on Prisoner. And these are two delicious examples of them, linked together into one huge effective scene, which sparked the Bea/Joan/Nola feud again.
A gem of a scene, folks.
